Here I Am

One of my favorite pieces of writing I have ever composed was in elementary school. We were asked to write an “I Am From” poem… I remember writing that I was from “basketti”, friends, a momma who took care of me… I knew as an elementary teacher that I would give my students the opportunity to write an “I Am From” poem.

Over the weekend, I attended a women’s gathering… IF. I began pondering what my “I Am From” poem would look like now. Never given a chance to update it, add to it, or alter it in any way… I thought… This needs to be done… so, here I am writing my “I Am From” poem as a 35 year old.

If: Gathering 2019

I Struggle

I am broken from a life of badgering words that have camped in my mind, intertwined in my thoughts, and made a home in my heart.

I am scared of the unknown and not being able to be in control of my life, and the lives of those who I love.

I am scarred from a dad who abandoned me long ago and to this day, I struggle being able to trust and understand the men in my life.

I am confused from the pushes and pulls of life that say focus on today, but yet want you to predict the future.

I am alone from the angst of hurting someone because I am not a good enough.

I am a seeker of affirmation from others; needing and longing for acceptance stemming from not being sure of who I am.

I am selfish from a life-long mindset of comparing my life with the Jones’ and questioning, “Why can’t that be me?”

I am a fraud who leads people to think I am put together in every aspect of life, when really I am the dictionary definition of a “hot mess”.

I am self-conscious from the rollercoaster of weight; diets who defined me from months at a time to comments sucking the life out of me.

I Succeed

I am loved from my high-school sweetheart that has stood by me through the good, bad, and ugly.

I am blessed from the four beautiful and talented children who continue to pour their beings into me with words and actions.

I am passionate from the creativity that was instilled in me when I was in high school by an educator who saw my potential and strengths.

I am positive from the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of children I have the privilege of teaching.

I am grateful from seeing and being in the midst of struggles throughout life.

I am loyal from being naive that no one is going to intentionally hurt me.

I am persistent from not being seen and heard by those who are seen as leaders.

I Surrender

I am HIS from the words He spoke from over 2000 years ago that are still relevant today.

I am saved from all of my struggles because of the ability to be able to pray to a gracious God.

I am covered from the grace that He consistently lays on me.

I am embraced from His forgiveness and understanding of all my faults.

I am healed from the blood He shed through sacrifice and punishment.

I am me from a creator who is the architect of the world we live in.

Above all, I am a daughter of the one and only GOD and this is all I NEED!

So… Here I AM…

Grateful that God laid this post on my heart and pushed me to reflect on areas of growth and celebrate the real me.

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